My job is like a fart

they could however avoid farting in my face

Full moon- half moon- total Eclipseeeeeeeeeeee

Now...
I used to hate jaffa cakes.. but I loved the ad.. so I started eating them
Then they changed the ad.. and said each jaffa cake had 1% fat...
That was removed as misleading.. as people thought you could eat them on a diet
Now they make the bars..
My question is.. how come that 3 jaffa cakes have 3g of fat and a small cake has 5.5?

I'm turbated

Whatever drives your boat

Diplomacy

It's using your intelligence to manipulate other people

If you say, please would you mind passing me that glass, that gives you no choice to say no.
However you rather be asked please that been given the chance

If salmon wasn't a stupid fish

They would not have smoked it.

If Tuna wasn't a stupid fish, they wouldn't have tinned it.

God kill all the idiots or send them to their own country

that will make the world such a better place for everybody